Aww Mijn Favoriet is a meanie *nods* Well, he claims he is, clearly he's just trying to teach me Dutch finally ;) I'm such a slacker, I should listen to Dutch stuff when I'm working on art and stuff from now on instead of music! *nods* Though I have only a little Dutch audio. And it's not so convenient to read my Dutch books while drawing and stuff...
[13:40:51] {Me} 3 years! hard to believe I've known YUO that long wow! heh let alone she's been gone that long. Years go by fast! I'm getting old :P
[13:41:10] {Mijn Favoriet} :o
[13:41:23] {Mijn Favoriet} and we still can't converse in dutch ;)
[13:41:56] {Me} err well I can't speak in English even, YOU* lol
[13:42:24] {Mijn Favoriet} ;)
[13:42:42] {Me} Yeah, I should get serious about Dutch someday, when I actually try I learn a little, then I get busy and forget it if I don't read it like every day!
[13:53:30] {Mijn Favoriet} aww
[13:53:34] {Mijn Favoriet} well, you don't really NEED dutch
[13:53:38] {Mijn Favoriet} as we all speak english ;)
[13:54:17] {Me} yeah, I'd just been cooler if I knew it, of course ;)
[13:54:21] {Mijn Favoriet} :P
[13:54:22] {Me} be*
[13:54:35] {Mijn Favoriet} I know a way to motivate you more!
[13:54:52] {Me} you do?
[13:55:13] * Mijn Favoriet nods
[13:55:14] {Mijn Favoriet} but it's mean
[13:56:27] {Me} !!! how mean?
[13:56:56] {Mijn Favoriet} mean like
[13:57:06] {Mijn Favoriet} not talking english to you any more, but only dutch!
[13:58:18] {Me} well, you do realize that when I go translate I won't learn so well, considering first time you tried something like that with the word kiss it told me it was a coast in the online dictionary/translator!
[13:58:29] {Mijn Favoriet} rofl
[13:58:38] {Mijn Favoriet} kust = coast indeed
[13:58:43] {Mijn Favoriet} but it's a verb :P
[13:59:42] {Me} hehe yeah I suppose I could keep my real dictionary nearby, and take 20 minutes to read a sentence! lol
[14:00:19] {Mijn Favoriet} haha ja dat zou je kunnen proberen ;)
[14:00:24] {Mijn Favoriet} ben benieuwd hoe lang je dat vol zou houden :P
[14:06:11] {Me} hmm yes you can try that
[14:06:31] {Me} wow I'm quick! ;) ok second one lol sorry also watching DNC ;)
[14:07:01] {Mijn Favoriet} :P
[14:07:19] {Me} for the record the first one was a guess, I only looked up proberen :P
[14:07:25] {Mijn Favoriet} :o
[14:07:26] {Mijn Favoriet} cheat!
[14:07:34] {Me} nooooooo!
[14:07:59] {Me} not cheat, I could just look at it and tell what it must be by looking up proberen *nods* that's how Dutch I am! ;)
[14:08:59] {Mijn Favoriet} :P
[14:11:29] {Me} I give up on the second one! I think you're curious how long I can do it :P lol
[14:11:40] {Mijn Favoriet} yeah
[14:11:43] {Mijn Favoriet} something like that :)
[14:12:16] {Me} obviously not well or long heh actually semi reading dutch is the easier part figuring out how to write it is the hard part :P
No politics today (oh I'm watching just no rants today). No news posts. Just this...
Without you now I see,
How fragile the world can be
And I know you've gone away
But in my heart you'll always stay.
I cried for you
And the sky cried for you,
And when you went
I became a hopeless drifter.
But this life was not for you,
Though I learned from you,
That beauty need only be a whisper
---------------------------------------
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
---------------------------------------
and through it all she offers me protection
a lot of love and affection
whether I’m right or wrong
and down the waterfall
wherever it may take me
I know that life wont break me
when I come to call she wont forsake me
I’m loving angels instead
---------------------------------------
So long ago, I don't remember when
That's when they say I lost my only friend
Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease
As I listened through the cemetery trees
Yeah it's lyrics day. I'm lost in music at the moment. It's my memorial day. She died three years ago today. I still feel the need to leave comments in her journal on certain days, dunno why. I think if people stumble upon it I want to be sure they know how loved she was. It's become my own personal memorial since I've never been to Montana, I can't exactly go to her grave. 3 years. It is so long. It's not long at all. I feel so much more healed than I did even a year ago. Definitely so much better off than I was when I learned of her death... Nothing in my lifetime could have ever hit me harder and I've been through a few things, lost a few people. Every bad thing in my life, every loss... all of it combined hasn't hurt as bad as the day I learned I lost her. With the time that has gone by, with the healing I feel I've done, I know there's just a piece of my heart that is hers. And it feels like she filled it so full in the time she was in my life and yet it feels empty too because she was meant to be alive so much longer. No one that good is supposed to just fall asleep so young and just never wake up again. No warning. No knowing she was that sick. I was the sickie. She was worried about ME. I know, I know, the world isn't fair, blah blah blah. Whoever first said the world isn't fair was a jackass. That's the biggest understatement ever.
I miss her. Music is good though. The songs that remind me of her or that hit me hard after her death are more soothing now than they were. They're not making me sit here wanting to cry like a baby. Only a few tears today in thinking of what is missing. More smiles in knowing how lucky I was. I still feel like she's with me. It's not the same though, she should ACTUALLY be with me, but there is some... I dunno... just calm sense of her being here. Although we were so much alike I suppose that is easy to accomplish, she and I could finish each other's sentence even after those times we had lost touch for a few years. I can imagine what she'd be saying now...
THAT was the old Clinton political family of the 90s. w00t!
If her supporters still aren't on board with Obama they're flipping idiots. I mean seriously is there anything she didn't cover? She flat out asked if you were in the election for HER or for ISSUES and if you were in it for issues, well she addressed them one by one and told you why you had to support Obama not McCain. We'll see what Bill does tomorrow, but I think the old Clintons may be back finally. Even if they were jerks when it counted for them most, they're stepping up to the plate now. I mean Hillary basically said if you don't vote for Obama well then hey congrats you've screwed up your kids and grandkids futures, as well as the country in general, so please don't run to McCain. That is what you call a targeted message. The types that have been holding out. claiming they're Hillary "Democrats", but will probably go McCain - IF they're really Dems they needed to hear what she said.
If this Hillary sticks around she can continue to have a long political career.
Primary Hillary talking about hard working white voters was no good. But talking about health care, supporting equal rights for all, "No way, how how, no McCain" that Hillary = good.
I've forgotten how awesome Ani Difranco is. I stopped keeping up with her years ago. Not her specifically actually, music in general. when life got crazy, I stopped being current and never bother to catch up. Well, anyway, I've actually never forgotten how awesome she is, I'm just feeling bad that I'm SO far behind. Hmm how far behind am I? I just looked, the last "studio album" I owned of hers was To The Teeth from 1999. Yeah... I'm more behind when it comes to music than I thought, ooopsie! I'll never catch up now. I'm such a slacker.
At least I know the good old stuff of hers!
I used to be a superheroCome on Superman references in a song = win! Not to mention that one of her songs is my theme song, I'm just not sure which... it's either Pixie or Not a Pretty Girl -- which one it is depends on my mood.
No one could touch me
Not even myself
You are like a phone booth
That I somehow stumbled into
And now look at me
I am just like everbody else
At least I've now heard a few of her newer songs and if you live under a bigger rock than I do and never heard her, you can hear some of hers too as she has songs online here.
Sleep: So my body could take no more of the MS exhaustion + lack of sleep and I passed out -- not slept, just passed out at about 9:30 pm. We know that means I was sick'ish. I don't sleep at night. I woke up at 5 am, when I'm usually falling asleep. My body is quite confused but I slept, and I had a dream but all I remember is drunk midgets in a drug store offering people shots of whiskey. Look I dunno... it was weird.
DNC night 1 = success. TAKE THAT Republicans. Ted Kennedy = WOW. Michelle Obama, cliche here but Home Run is the only way to describe it.
Misc Politics: Ohh goodie some white supremacy meth heads wanted to kill Obama. Story here. It wasn't a credible threat of course. They were sort of wishy washy with their plans. Yeah because they're using meth. People on meth are friggin nuts, duh. Have you ever experienced someone on meth? They might have killed him, they might have gone to clean their houses from top to bottom at 4 am.
Have you seen the ad with the chick saying I am a Hillary Clinton supporter and I'm for McCain, blah blah blah. It's ok Democrats you can vote for McCain? Well here you go:
McCain fails a leader, any respect I could have had for him is now GONE:
Also, McCain was on Leno... Leno jokingly asked him for a million dollars how many houses do you own. He went in a spiel about how look I was a POW without a house or a table... blah freaking blah. Ok... Once upon a time McCain was one of the only Republicans I actually respected. It's gone now. I no longer respect him at all. Period. It's gone. I don't even respect that he was a POW. That respect is totally GONE now too PERIOD. I used to be able to respect that. No longer. Because HE doesn't respect it. Yes, being a POW and being tortured is an answer for some things. NOT FOR EVERYTHING. Injuries and medical problems it caused you so you understand some things people face there? Hey fair enough. Going through tough times and surviving them, etc. But HE doesn't even respect that about himself, he totally spits all over this own story. Saying THAT is why you forgot how many condos you own 30 some years later? Milking something you went through all of those years ago to get votes? Something others went through too and turning it into a joke at this point? Sickening.
Well, I was raped err however many years ago, so I guess I hate you because I can break that out as an excuse to hate any man I want to any time I want and then put it back in the background when it won't get me pity or justify me wanting to bash a male. That's ok, right? That's the kind of leader you are? You're telling me it's ok to use and abuse and manipulate the tough times that people go through in life and to twist them for pity when it suits us? You make me ill. You're a grown man, act like one. You're not still in a POW camp. That camp has NOTHING to do with your 7 houses and being so rich you forgot how many of them you had. You're not a leader. You're a pathetic excuse for a man. Ted Kennedy who is facing tough times, who sucked it up, flew across the country when he probably should not have, to stand there and give us a speech filled with hope, to promise us he'd fight for us no matter what he's facing, to talk of the future, not his present or past, THAT is a leader.
It's ok to express anger and frustration about things you have gone through and yes you have permanent damage from your experiences and you learn from them. But you've abused it now and so now even your legitimate complaints and pains from what you went through are meaningless to me and you've made them that way.
What T.V. series are you looking forward to starting back up in the fall?
I guess Heroes, since I'm a comic book geek at heart, but I really wish they'd bring back Journeyman too. That was a good show, and a great chaser to Monday night Heroes as well.
I don't get it. Was nobody really watching it? Was there something better on on a Monday night? Or were people really pining for another reality/talent/prime-time game show?
Or was the studio just that dense?
So although my sleep "schedule" (as we know by now, thanks to MS, I don't actually have a sleep schedule) is, as of late something like noon - 8 pm today my body decided I should be dead tired at about 10 am, but my body also decided no matter how tired I am, no matter how relaxed I was in bed, no matter how empty my mind was, sleep would not happen. When that happens there is only one thing to do, get pissed off for about 30 more minutes bargaining with my broken brain and body telling it look let me fall asleep pleeeeeeease and if you don't I'll flipping stay up alright? Well... it wins. 4 pm is time to give up I do believe - 5 hours laying in bed without sleep while all but dead asleep and desperately wanting sleep = sucky. Being awake now and wanting sleep = sucky. MS = sucky. The disability judge who thinks I'm supposed to be able to work with this as my life = sucky. "Normal people" who can sleep, especially ones who crawl into bed and snore within 30 seconds = sucky. Ones who do that and act like they have sleep issues = the suckiest. I'm bitter at the moment ;)
Oh well, I caught Hardball at least, not even a clip on YouTube yet but if you caught it -- Holy.... I hope those women were planted by the McCain camp. We were for Hillary but now we're for McCain because even though we're Dems we have 3 million former Hillary supporters voting McCain because we have a 17 page report proving Obama is a Muslim but we won't tell you where we got it, who wrote it, etc. *blinks* AKA Hi I'm a ignorant bitch who read it online and I'm all for diversity in white house as long as that diversity includes someone who is a white Chistian otherwise they must be a terrorist.
What are you looking forward to this week?
Umm hello? Democratic National Convention anyone? w0000t!
National Organization for Women has already praised Obama/Biden ticket talking about how Hillary was their first choice but Biden is a strong friend to women while dissing McCain.
Hillary will, I'm sure, somehow find it in her to give the speech of her life because she knows if she wants a chance to run again she has to convince her psycho supporters to stop being bitches and convert to Obama now because if they do some protest vote for McCain in November, she'll take the blame when we lose and she does NOT want that.
Biden is going to stay on script I'm sure, but they will appreciate his big mouth so his script will allow him to be mister attack dog.
Bill won't likely stay on script and will probably be some of the old Bill Clinton I loved and not the jerkoff we saw during Hillary's campaign.
Michelle will be free to show off a little of what's been lost of her this campaign - the funny mom and wife, who keeps the kids and hubby real despite all of this "rock star" status stuff that McCain and others push so much. You really only see that side of her if you watch the news a lot but it's clear when she speaks she keeps their homelife down to earth and rather "real".
And Obama himself... He'll get back to what made him popular in the first place. The anniversary of the "I Have a Dream" speech won't be lost on him. He's gonna go out there and speak like he's never spoken before. He has to and he knows it. I wouldn't be surprised if this speech has been worked on since the day he announced he was running for president. It won't be another I have a dream speech, but it will be one that McCain will NEVER be able to compete with....
Speaking of McCain -- since he uses the term "My Friends" more in two minutes than everyone on the planet uses: the, a, and, it, we, I, she, he, they, thank you, you're welcome, please, uh, um, is, what - in a day, I can no longer hear "My friend" without cringing or just flat out wanting to slap someone as it always sounds so phony now. I'm sick of "My friend" or "My Friends" , earlier in the campaign I had read he was going to use it less, he didn't. LIES. I have heard "My friends" so often that the word "friends" is almost meaningless now. He's abused it, seriously. Remember when Biden said Rudy only mentioned three things in a sentence -- a noun, a verb, and 9/11? Well McCain only mentions his friends. "And my friends, I don't have to tell you my friends, that this, my friends, is bad my friends, because my friends, we, my friends." He's still freaking doing it and I want to throw up all over his friends already.
Bill Maher is probably seen as the Devil by some, especially now that his movie Religulous is coming out soon. Not to mention his political views. His outspoken ways. I mean the man had to move his show to HBO because he offends people so badly that silly Americans had to make sure he can't appear on network television, yeah he's THAT evil. But he's one of my favorite people, really. I don't know how I've survived the summer without his show. HE should be the one running for president, but he's too smart to do something as silly as run for office. He pisses off the right and the left because he's one of the few who really says what he thinks, even about people he likes and supports. Hmm... actually he'd probably only have support on the coasts and before we could vote, those in the middle of the country would find a way to shoot him.
Man this closing ceremony is sooo pretty...
Mijn Favoriet -- He's back!!! Did I mention he was away on vacation with his gf the past week? I was sad! Especially since Bender went away part of that time too, I swear they plotted to go away at the same time, my little online family was quiet, T hasn't been around, other Dutchies were fairly quiet those days. Sad sad, I peeked on irc but no one was talking so my idle time was over a day.
Anyway the olympics -- Mijn Favoriet sees it live. So he kind of spoils the Olympics for me! heh. He had told me during the Opening Ceremonies the world was being blown up during the fireworks for example ;) And during the closing ceremonies he was asking me "Is that Jackie Chan?" How would I know, I was a good 11-12 hours away from seeing it? I keep asking them to stop living in the friggin future. They of course tell me to stop living in the past. The thing is, I win. I live in Hollywood time, Hollywood would NEVER lie to us ;) So my time is the correct time heh. Apparently as he was watching it took awhile for them to say hey it's Jackie Chan. Not here man. The announcers here right away were all over that. And how could you NOT know right away that was him? Heh. <3 Jackie Chan.
I love that tower of people. The showmanship on that sort of reminded me of some gigantic Cirque show. Except it made a Cirque show look like kiddie play WOW!
