2 posts tagged “facebook”
I've spent the last hour trying to dispossess the established Malaysian leading kiwifruit journalists with my indepth research into the kiwifruit sector. I did not, however, realize what sort of passionate outbursts that small fuzzy brown fruit could inspire.
Myspace had its flaws: people with their stupid bulletins going "Hey im on9 now", the ridiculously retarded HEY YOU WANNA GET FREE LEGAL WEED?!?!?! retard spambot posts, the mentally challenged profiles with their garish colors and overly liberal usage of animated sprinkles, but at least it was manageable.
Friendster had its flaws: the profiles had practically no distinguishing differences, everybody was stuck with the same ugly formats, testimonials disappeared regularly, and applications were not added until the very latest updates. Oh, and it's full of idiot friends who continuously spam me with garish animations full of sprinkles, too.
But Facebook, oh Facebook. Facebook is the devil. Facebook is the worst sinner of the lot. And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, too! Facebook has a nice standardized profile page, a great home page which lets you stalk everybody purely on their own actions, a fairly decent photo album and uploading system, a brilliant How Do You Know This Person bit which lets you realize that oh! Roslyn is Amirul's sister. Julia went to the same college as Amirul. Amirul once lived with Janis. Etc, etc. But the applications... the applications are the sinners which affect upon this otherwise pure and minimalistic website.
Vampires! Werewolves! Slayers! Flirtable! Flirt with me! Are you flirty! My Pictures! My Sketches! Are You Gay Quiz! How Stupid Are You (Quiz)! Spark! Ten Second Interview! Are You Sexy! How Sexy Are You (Quiz)! Circle Of Trust! Circle of Friends!
It goes on and on, with people clickety-clicking, and upon the next page are demanded to Invite 20 More Friends. So they do. They click upon twenty hapless, innocent peoples' faces. "Why thank you, Lady Monrovia, for considering me a Hottie(tm)! How very nice of you." Lady Monrovia doesn't remember you. She hasn't talked to you either, except for that one time you bumped into her in the airport and gained a massive world-ending crush on her. But she continues to add your name onto these unholy lists.
I have 647 invites to trawl over, and click ignore. I know there's a button which lets you ignore all these invites, but I decided to go over them one by one simply because I wanted to know which of these invites were genuine invites, where Lady Monrovia actually went, "Hmm! Blackjack! I'm fairly certain Amirul would enjoy playing Blackjack online with me!" Me and Lady Monrovia, we've been playing Blackjack for countless nights ever since.
At this point I've only got 170 left. My clickety-clicking can be just as fast as theirs. So let's look at what I've ignored so far
Jim thinks I'm a celebrity. I mean, he really thinks I'm a celebrity.
Zayaana, we all love you to bits, but... I'm not a girl. I'm honored that you invited me for such quizes, but, well... you know. I'd rather not know what type of girl I am. It would be kinda like that dreadful time when the Blogthings quiz declared I was 60% female and 40% male. I spent the next hour in the bathroom crying.
Natasha thinks I'm weird, and she wants to know how weird. But, um, while I may be weird and/or wired, how weired can I be? Is this some new young-people amalgamation thing? "You're so Weired, man."
Thus, I end my piece. Facebook: The Most Evillest Thing Since Terrorism.
